If I could change the NHL...

Greg Wyshynski over at Puck Daddy has a segment on his blog asking various people to list five changes they would make to the NHL. Some have been good, some not so much. Figured I'd give it a crack, if only to waste more time on an already boring Wednesday. Here goes:

1. Get rid of the trapezoid behind the goal - Pointless, useless, and utterly ridiculous. Let the goalies roam. Hell, I'd be in favor of the goalies joining the attack every now and then to really throw off the other team.
2. Contract down to 28 teams - Unlike many "traditional" fans who want every team south of New York eliminated, set up some benchmarks to determine who gets to stay and who gets the axe. If a team can't average at least 90% capacity, they make the list. This means that strong Southern and non-traditional markets like Dallas keep their teams while putting more pressure on Atlanta and Miami (I say Miami because Tampa Bay seems to do pretty well). Take two teams and move them to Winnipeg and Hamilton or some other Northern locale, and contract the others. If that won't work, at least try this...
3. Division re-alignment - There is no logical reason why Minnesota is in the Northwest division. The last time Minnesota was considered to be in the Northwest, we conned the French into selling a third of the continent for about fifty bucks. I know it may not be easy, but here's my idea: Two conferences with two divisions each, an eight-team division and a seven-team division. Bring back the old names (interesting how the names Smythe and Patrick are old-fashioned, but an outdoor game is an instant classic). And go back to the 80's-style divisional playoff format instead of basing everything around conference standings. It may look like this:

ADAMS - BOS, MTL, TOR, OTT, BUF, CLB, PIT
PATRICK - NYR, NYI, PHI, NJD, WAS, CAR, ATL, FLA
NORRIS - DET, CHI, STL, DAL, MIN, NSH, TB
SMYTHE - VAN, CGY, EDM, COL, SJ, LA, ANA, PHX

Now here's the deal - move NSH to Hamilton, PHX to Winnipeg (thus bringing Wayne Gretzky back to Canada), and contract FLA, ATL, and you have four seven-team divisions. Switch HAM and CLB to create a ridiculous rivalry between Toronto, Ottawa, Hamilton, and Montreal. Keep the 'Peg in the Smythe to produce a similar four-team Canadian beatdown out West. In other words:

ADAMS - BOS, TOR, HAM, MTL, OTT, BUF, PIT
PATRICK - NYR, NYI, PHI, NJD, WAS, CAR, TB
NORRIS - DET, CHI, STL, DAL, MIN, CLB, COL
SMYTHE - VAN, CGY, EDM, WPG, SJ, LA, ANA

Not perfect, I know, but it's an idea. I did all I could to keep Pittsburgh in with the Flyers, but this set-up could produce a Flyers-Pens or even a Caps-Pens conference final. And won't the NHL muckety-mucks love that!!! Rounding out the list, I have:
4. Let'em fight - Enough said. And to anyone who picks a fight and then either turtles or hides behind the ref, two minutes for unsportmanslike conduct.
5. NBC gets the Saturday night games - I have to admit, Football Night in America, which is a blatant rip-off of Hockey Night in Canada, is by far the best NFL broadcast. Give NBC the Saturday night game. It's not like there's much to do on a Saturday night in the winter anyway, unless you happen to live in South Florida, Arizona, or SoCal. Let NBC pick a game, broadcast it nationally, and start it from Day 1 of the season. The downside, obviously, is that NBC would be going directly up against college football, but they only show Notre Dame games and those are in the afternoon. This could work.

There ya go.